PARENTING: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Parents of teens sometimes find it hard to know what decisions to make about their children. They know what they would like to have them do, but they aren't sure they should insist on it.         

Some parents conclude that they have the have the right to make the choices for their offspring as long as they are supporting them. Others are more inclined to recognize the freedom of the teens to make their own decisions. Although both sides have merit, we should not assume that "anything goes.”There are biblical principles to consider, proper attitudes to display, and character traits to live out.   To illustrate, I’ll tell what three sets of parents did about college choices for their teens.    Each case was handled differently, but none ended in disaster. I am convinced that this can be accounted for because these parents took the Scriptures seriously, .showed love for their children, and tried to be good role models. You won't find a definite answer to the question,” What should I do?" But you will have a chance to think about biblical principles that apply.

CASE 1.
Larry and Bev, parents of four and owners of a thriving business, are fine, conservative Christians. Larry is a rugged, yet tender man .He works hard and expects everyone else to do likewise. He allows no profanity among his workers. He has always made a lot of the decisions for his children even after they were grown.    When the children graduated from high school, he told them what college they had to attend. He wouldn't listen to any objections .It was either that school or no financial support, and no future in his business. His children obeyed him but told friends they hated the college he chose. However, they all did well enough to graduate. One is now a partner with his dad, and two have been set up by their dad with their own business in a different city.  They all go to church and seem to have a good relationship with their folks. Two of the sons have declared that they will not follow their dad's method when their children reach college age. They say that their father's tender side has been the redeeming factor, but that they would have been better  equipped for life if they could have made their own choices for college.                                                       

CASE 2           

John and Linda are now retired. Their two daughters are married and have given them six lovely grandchildren. Both parents held good jobs while the girls were in their teens, and they fully expected their daughters to go their denomination's college. But the oldest objected. She was a bright girl who wanted to get into medical research, so she insisted on a secular university .John and Linda were upset; they had visions of their daughter becoming influenced by secular humanism. Eventually, though, they worked out a compromise. They agreed on a well-know church-related college of a different denomination. Both daughters graduated with strong academic credentials for their chosen profession. They are still loyal to the Lord, although they are no longer members of the denomination in which they were reared.

CASE 3

Wade and Alice were profession people. Their son gave them no problems, but their daughter put their patience to the test .When she graduated from high school, she told her parents that she wanted to go to a secular university where she could have some freedom .They didn't panic or become angry .They said she was old enough to choose for herself.   She went to a university several hundred miles from home and quit going to church. She never did "go wild," but she did date
and marry a non-Children man. Her parents didn't approve, but they continued to show her that they loved her. Today she has returned to the Lord, and her husband has become a Christian. It has all worked out well, just as her parents expected.                                               
You've seen three sets of parents use three different approaches to the same problems. All of them think they were correct. What do you think?