TOP TEN REASONS TO STAY ABSTINENT

No one doubts that sexual activity is physically, emotionally, and socially dangerous. But what are the actual risks?

THE RISK OF DEATH

More than 600,000 cases of AIDS have been reported in the United States since 1981. As many as 900,000 Americans may be infected with HIV.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

THE RISK OF LOST RELATIONSHIPS

When you choose to develop a sexual relationship with someone, you've immediately changed the definition of the relationship. There is no such thing as casual sex. Once you have developed a sexual relationship, that relationship turns a critical corner. After the relationship ends, you and your partner will experience that guilt and pain of promises broken.

Hebrews 12:16 says, "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

RISKS OF INCURABLE DISEASE

Imagine you have found that one special person with whom you want to share your life . . . and now you are forced to break the news that you have an incurable disease. Even though such diseases like herpes are generally not considered life-threatening, currently no cures exist. Not only is it incurable, but it fills a life with worries, awkward revelations, and continuous need for medication.

 1 Corinthians 6:13 says, "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

THE RISK OF DAMAGING THE DESTINY OF YOUR FUTURE MARRIAGE

There is no way premarital sex of any kind is positive for your future marriage. (Just ask my husband how he feels "knowing" about my past.) It only causes suspicion, mistrust, and regret.

Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

THE RISK OF PERMANENTLY DAMAGING YOUR TESTIMONY AS A CHRISTIAN

You'll never be able to say honestly, "I was a virgin before I was married." You'll never be able to live as an example of committed purity.

Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

THE RISK OF DEPRESSION

Those who participate in premarital sex experience emotional damage that can lead to an increased chance of mental depression and emotional despair.

2 Corinthians 12:21 says, "I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

GOD CREATED SEX

GOD created sex, and set rules to guide us in using this gift. Our culture has ignored the rules, distorted the place of sex in our lives and is paying a terrible price for it.

AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and abortions, broken family relationships, rape and sexual abuse: These are some of the massive problems we have brought upon us by our choice to ignore the clear and simple laws of God, nature and life.

IF everyone lived by God’s guidelines for love, sex and marriage, we would not suffer from these problems.

God has been clear about his desires for us regarding love, sex and marriage:

-Sexual relationships are to be confined to marriage.

-The marriage relationship is for life and is to be characterized by loving service to each other.

-The family unit is created by God as the foundation of all cultures.

When we follow God’s desires for us, we thrive. When we ignore God’s desires for us, we do so at our peril. We face the awful consequences of our sins, and we face the awesome anger of God.

God’s love is greater than His anger. In His love, He has provided a solution for our personal and national sins. He sent His only son Jesus to come and die for us so that everyone who believes in Him has his sins washed clean, and becomes a member of the family of God. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, when we fail God we now have a way back.

God’s desires that we repent, turn to Him and truly trust Him. To trust God is to take Him at His word, accept His son Jesus Christ, and obey His will. All the blessings of God await the person who trusts God.

If you choose, right now, to trust God, use your own words to tell Him that you want to:

Repent: Tell God that you know you have sinned against Him and want to be different.

Trust: That you are counting on God to accept Jesus’ sacrifice for you on the cross to make you right with God.

Obey: That you want to live a new life as a member of God’s family, and you need God’s help to do so.

WHY ABSTINENCE?

Everything God creates has a reason and a plan. God makes it clear that everything He created in the beginning was "good" (Genesis 1:31). People have a history of distorting what God has made. Sex is no different. God created it, and therefore it is good. But when we misrepresent it by ignoring God, it is now destructive. So if it's good, 'why save sex for marriage'?

To understand why, first we have to think about God's purpose and design for sex. Why did God create sex? One reason is procreation. When God told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28), He also wanted them to develop intimacy with one another and He knew that sex would help them do that. So the second reason is for intimacy, having a connection of your spirit with another person's spirit. In the sexual act, Two DO become one, just as God directed a man to do within marrying - to leave the parents and become one to his wife (Genesis 2:21).

Sex is so powerful at creating closeness that there must be some constraints, so God specifically regulated sex to marriage. The kind of intimacy that God desires for those married can only be experienced between one man and one woman, as was in the beginning. Therefore God has specifically said, "Do not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).

Ok, so that explains why we should save it for marriage, but having sex outside of marriage isn't harmful, so why not have it both ways? Let's explore why it is.

Sex outside of marriage causes damage (1) physically and (2) relationally.

The physical damages

AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). There is no "safe sex". When sex is exchanged like clothing and misused, the negative effects of sin come into our physical reality, creating more negative effects (i.e., diseases, etc.).

Unwanted or unplanned childbearing. If a child is born your actions affect your life, your partner's life, the lives of your family and an innocent baby's life as well. Since there is no commitment, usually one or both partner's run from the responsibility, ending in orphans, single parenting (which is proven more difficult and hard on a child's upbringing), or causing the next damage...

Sadly, the willful destruction of human life (Abortion) often results from pre-marital sex (though there are other reasons, this is the main one).

The relational damages

Sin. Sin always damages a person's relationship with God. Disobeying God's command to not commit sexual immorality and lack of self-control dishonors and displeases God. If you truly love a person and wish to be sexually intimate, you should marry as God has instructed (to become one with the person you claim to want to be with).

Those you know. Yes, as a Christian, you having sex outside of marriage (or living with someone, unmarried) causes a person's friends, family and even non-Christians to view you as a less committed Christian, one more prone to hypocrisy. This could leave you with less respect, not trusted, and worse of all, you again are bringing further dishonor to God.

The persons involved. If two people do not cherish sex enough to wait for a marriage commitment, how can they trust one another for faithfulness? Sometimes a person within the relationship is not willing to make a vow and think very little of the others intimacy. If two people respect each other and are sincere they would be willing to make a covenant with each other, adding assurance to their relationship and avoiding later esteem problems (which lead to depression).