10 LIES ABOUT SEX, DATING AND HOW FAR IS TOO FAR

So, how far is too far? Is that a valid question to ask? In a world where sex is seen in every medium and condoms are being handed out in schools, what is a Christian teen to do when confronted with conflicting advice about what constitutes a sexual activity or abstinence? Here are the top 10 lies Christian teens tell themselves when it comes to answering the question, "How far is too far?"

1. Everybody Does It

Everybody? No. Not everybody is having sex. While the media and people in school may make it seem like everyone is having sex, there are just as many Christian teens (and non-Christians, too) waiting until marriage. Doing something just because everyone else is doing it is just giving into peer pressure. It takes a stronger person, or a person backed up by the strength of God, to resist temptation. When you stand up to peer pressure you are actually saving yourself from committing sin while being a good Christian witness to other teens around you.

2. It's No Big Deal

Sex is a big deal. Ask any Christian teen who struggles with having had sex before. There are a lot of emotions and spiritual struggles that come from having had sex outside of marriage. It is one of the reasons God placed such an emphasis on sex and relationships in the Bible. Sex is a beautiful act that comes out of the marriage covenant, and it means more than just an action.

3. Virginity is a State of Mind

Some people use the term "technical virgin" when describing their sexual status. Usually this means that the person has not had a sexual act that involved penetration. Virginity is more than that. Virginity is not a state of mind, but it is the conscious choice to not involve oneself in sexual acts until after marriage. Usually this excuse is used if someone wants to justify participating in sexual activity.

4. Sex and Love are the Same Thing

Sex and love are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex. Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them. There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone.

5. Sex is a Minor Sin

Pre-marital sex is sin. Sin is sin. However, it is dangerous to think that sex is a minor or equal sin to all others, because it can put you in a frame of mind to make bad choices. Sexual sin is still a defiance of God, and no sin is acceptable to God. Yes, you can be forgiven, but you will have to live with the sin you have committed, which can be difficult if you are not prepared to deal with sex emotionally.

6. Oral Sex Isn't Really Sex

Oral sex is a sexual act. Just because Christian teens are not having sex in the textbook fashion, it is still a sexual act that bonds a man and a woman together.

7. Third Base Isn't a Big Deal

Third base, also known as "heavy petting," is a big deal, because it can lead to other things. Not only is it a form of sexual action, but it can lead to sexual intercourse. It is very easy for Christian teens to get caught up in the moment and forget about any desire to stay abstinent. Sin is very tempting, and it does not always come with warning or stop signs. Going to Third Base can be a danger zone.

8. My Will Can Overcome Any Temptation

God's will can overcome any temptation. If you feel you have the strength alone to conquer any temptation, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Man is known for falling into sin, especially when there is an overconfidence in the self. Christian teens need to keep their eyes on God, and allow God to help set boundaries so they can resist the temptation. The Bible is full of helpful advice when it comes to coping with temptation, and it can be a useful tool.

9. Watching Porn or Masturbating is Less of a Sin Than Having Sex

A lot of people believe that pornography and masturbation are helpful in preventing a person from having sex. However, having sex is not just about the act, but it is about the frame of mind. If you have lust in your heart while you are watching pornographic movies or masturbating, then there is sin there.

10. I've Already Had Sex, So It's Too Late for Me

It is never too late. While the idea of "born-again virgin" may seem a little like "technical virgin," it is not the same thing. Many Christian teens that have already had sex choose to act as if they have never had sex and vow to wait until marriage. Having sex is not the end of the world. God is very forgiving, and He smiles at those who return to Him with a desire to do His will. While the temptation for someone who has had sex can be even stronger than the virgin, it can be overcome with God's help. God is waiting to welcome you with open arms.

DEVOTION: TALKING TO GOD

Thank God for all the ways He loves and cares for you. Ask Him to show you how much He wants you to talk with Him daily.

DIVING IN

Line up a number of small glasses next to the kitchen sink. One by one, fill the glasses. Discuss how you could fill every container in your house and water would still flow out of the faucet. In a similar way, God's longing for you won't end.

GOING DEEPER

God is available to you at all times. Just as you can fill another glass with water simply by turning on the faucet, so you can enjoy God's presence by going to Him in prayer. Read Isaiah 30:18: "The Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" God wants you to grow closer to Him, to be filled with His love and peace, because He longs for what is best for you. Although God works on your behalf, He wants you to respond to Him, showing a willingness to share your life with Him. One way you can do that is by talking to Him daily.

TALKING TO EACH OTHER

- Who is your favorite person to talk to, and what makes this person your favorite?

- Tell about a time when you really wanted to talk to this person. Why did you long to talk to this person?

- Why might God long to be gracious to you?

SINNERS, LOSERS & WANABEES

Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

Some people are too good to be Christians. They are spending their whole lives doing good things for those around them. If you are like this, Christ may not be very appealing to you. After all, you have a Good Works report card with all A’s. You are confident that your good behavior will surely earn heaven for you.

Some people are too religious to be Christians. They are spending their whole lives working on church committees, and they are careful to follow religious ceremonies to the letter. If you are like this you are confident that your busy church life puts you well above ordinary church members and will surely earn heaven for you.

Some people are too successful to be Christians. They are in a whirlwind of making money and spending it on all the fun they can pack in. They are the heros and models of our culture. If you are like this, you probably are not going to stop your fun and admit that you need a Saviour.

If you are NOT like these people, I have some good news for you. Christ died to save you—sinners, losers, and wanabees. You have to be humble to be a Christian—because to be a Christian, you need to recognize that you are unable to live up to God’s standards on your own; admit that you need a Saviour; and trust Jesus Christ to make you right with God. You cannot do that if you are too busy, too successful or too proud.

1 John 1:8, 9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

GOD’S GREATEST GIFT

1. In the beginning, God made the world, and he was delighted. Then he made Adam and Eve and gave them a wonderful garden in which to live. The garden was called Eden. Adam and Eve took care of the garden and walked with God. Life was good.

Genesis 1:31 And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

2. But Satan, the enemy of God, came into that good life and persuaded Adam and Eve to disobey God. Their rebellion ruined everything.

Genesis 3:23 Therefore the Lord God sent them from the garden of Eden.

3. Because of their rebellion, sin entered our world and was passed down from generation to generation.

Genesis 6:5,6 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth...and it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

4. Because of sin there is a chasm between us and God. Some of us try to get back to God by good behavior or going to church. But we soon find out that nothing we do can make us right with God.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned,

and come short of the glory of God.

5. God never stopped loving us. In his mercy, he sent his only Son, Jesus, to earth to bring us back to God. Jesus died, taking the penalty of all our sins upon himself. Then God raised Jesus from the grave.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

6. By accepting Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf, we become right with God.

John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Won’t you accept Jesus? Ask him to come into your heart. It’s the only way back to the loving arms of God.

DEVOTION: GOD KEEPS PROMISES

 Text: Genesis 21:2

God made a promise to Abraham. He promised to give Abraham and his wife Sarah a baby boy. But Abraham had to wait for a very long time for God to keep that promise. Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born!

People sometimes make promises and forget about them very quickly. But in the bible, there are many stories about God making a promise and not forgetting that promise for 100 years or 400 years or even 2000 years. God's promises in the Bible are still true for us today, because God keeps his promises!